Things that overwhelm me...
but like, in a good way.
I feel overwhelmed. Like…most of the time, these days. I work to take care of myself, my nervous system, my wellness… but even that feels like another “thing” to add to the list of “things to do” some days, depending on how much content I’ve been consuming.
I got out of the shower today, reciting an old poem I wrote. I found myself performing to my 5-year-old fat boy chocolate lab, “Don’t try to fix me…I’m not broken… I don’t need a cream or a cleanse to undo the marks of my journey…I don’t need a quick fix or magic for me to love who I am with certainty.”
I wrote that poem over a decade ago, and the meaning of it has grown within me since. I could make this blog about 2026 diet culture (gag), or the A.I. shit storm taking over the internet (double gag), or the firehose of internet information about products and shit we don’t need (clean up on aisle K). Those things do, in fact, overwhelm me.
But, since that won’t fix anything and I might as well register the complaints with the void, I want to tell you some other things I’m overwhelmed by right now.
Like…
The absolute bangers that these springtime birds put out on Earth-ify Music every morning. Like, how are they even creating such good music without the help of artificial intelligence?! I am impressed with the daily production and overwhelmed by the joy I feel when I recognize certain voices and know it’s 5:30 am by the “chica-chica-caw” outside my window.
And…
The pile of journals I have stacked in my office is almost some shit you see in movies. I am amazed at what happens when you commit to your craft and trust it over an extended period of time. It could be absolute insanity or once-in-a-lifetime genius - but they won’t decide that until after I die. So in the meantime, I look on with wonder at how many words I’ve written with a real-life PEN and my mushy-squushy heart.
And…
The women I’ve been around lately and the multidimensional space we embody. One day last week, I stood outside my friend’s store while she clipped fresh herbs from her community garden. I took little video clips of her with my hands (to help promote her business), while we talked about death, life, love, and grief with our hearts. In between, we sprinkled in some business chat and welcomed the side conversations that arose when people passed by. Being fully human in front of someone else is an overwhelming and beautiful part of life’s journey.
Also…
The fact that I get to have a hot shower every day…sometimes twice a day… like, what?! What a blessing.
& the fact that every strawberry I’ve ever eaten was created just for that single moment of my enjoyment. Like, Mother Earth herself said - “Here, I made this for you.” And the person who planted the seeds…and tilled the soil...and plucked the berries...and packaged the fruit…and drove it to the store…and put it on the shelf.. All of their combined choices led to me eating a blissful bowl of strawberries this morning, and I think that’s pretty neat.
My kid is going to be 16 this month, and that alone is overwhelming. But, what I am really overwhelmed by is the fact that we made it this far, that our relationship is such a beautiful gift, and that she still LIKES me and TRUSTS me. Loving her changed everything about how I saw life in 2010, and witnessing her become a young woman with goals, ideas, points of view, opinions, and plans of her own is such a GIFT!!
I am overwhelmed by:
The colors of Spring in New Jersey.
The way death is actually life in disguise.
The amount of ideas in my big brain on a daily.
The freedom to pursue any or all of them.
The heart I bear.
The poetry. All the poetry.
And the poets. My goodness…. the poets.
The frequency in which I have to water these thirsty, growing houseplants.
The fact that I have to get to ask the same question tonight that I asked last night & the night before, and every night for the rest of my life- What’s for dinner?
The way my mom, grandmother, daughter, and me (plus my sister, aunts, and female cousins) all get to be expressions of womanhood and healing in the same timeline.
how I feel led to use my storytelling gifts for something a bit bigger, and even though it feels scary, the ideas are so clear, and Life has them right up to my face in a way I can’t deny.
How much I love this song…
& lastly……
the way ME SHAPED LOVE seems to be landing where it needs to. I am humbled and grateful.
Check me out at these upcoming real-life events. I am craving a “humans and hugs” type of summer more than I can express! If you are a local business owner and want to collab with me on events for July or August, send me an email!
